marriage

Monday Reflections: Having Faith

September 2, 2013 / Filed Under: love, marriage

One of the things that I would be forever grateful for in this marriage is that it helped restored my faith in God.

I don’t really know when it happened or how it happened exactly but it did. I am not a very religious person but my faith in God was at its weakest when peanutbutter♥ and I were married. I confided this to him and he tried to ask me the reason. At that time, I felt that this was something I couldn’t share with anyone and he let me be.

I don’t want to go into details but it was this marriage that restored my faith and I couldn’t thank peanutbutter♥ enough for bringing it back.

Things Your Husband Do That Doesn’t Matter

July 9, 2013 / Filed Under: love, marriage

“Make a list of ten of your spouse’s faults, which, for the sake of your marriage, you will always overlook. You can live with those ten.”

That’s a quote from J & G Murphy, marriage mentors who are married for 34 years.

I’ve thought about that quote this one time peanutbutter♥ and I are talking on video call, something we do everyday to talk, tell each other what went on in our day, and generally bond…since he’s away.

Most of the time, when I’m telling him something that happened to me during the day that’s also the time he gets caught up in his facebook wall or online shopping or whatever it is that he is looking on his screen. I do notice that he is listening with only one ear and he doesn’t really understand everything that I’m saying. There are times that I repeat what I just said. It could be really annoying when it happens frequently but it’s actually fine with me, unless I’m hormonal at the time..hee.

He didn’t notice this is happening until I did the same thing to him just to prove a point. See? he’s not even aware of it.

When building a relationship that will last a lifetime, one of the silliest things we can do is get caught up in the small things that will not matter in the end. The toilet seat that’s up, the toothpaste that’s squeezed right in the middle, and the mug of coffee that just won’t walk right up to the sink.

These are just small things that you just need to learn to overlook and live with because you just love your man too much.

And I know that he probably has 20 things he is overlooking too because he loves you waaay more.

Can you think of your ten things?

The Importance of Date Nights

June 10, 2013 / Filed Under: date nights, love, marriage, Marriage Mondays

–date night at the Cowrie Cove, Shangri-La Mactan while Ykaie is at the playplace–

When we were still dating, there was nothing more exciting than seeing a movie, eating out or going to the park with my peanutbutter♥. We would always want to be together. Just the thought of seeing him after work and knowing that we would be spending the rest of the day together made me excited. And I looked forward to it with anticipation each time.

That’s how our family started..with the two of us dating.

–cheesy photos before we were married-

Three years ago, peanutbutter♥ and I got separated because he had to work overseas. It was such a challenge because we were used to having date nights even after marriage. No, it wasn’t the type of date nights that involves candle lit dinners and dressing up. It was the type that got just the two of us spending quality time together.

I think that’s the whole purpose of date night. It’s to slow the pace around you, have a chance to talk, hold hands and just enjoy being with your spouse. It doesn’t even even need to take up the whole night. Even a quickie date night will do.

I remember the time when some of our date nights would involve sitting on an old bench outside our small internet café after we closed for the day. He would have beer and I would have chips…at times there’s balut too and we would talk for hours. Other times, it’s leaving Ykaie at a play place while we would enjoy a movie together then pick her up later after the movie. I cherish those moments because it made me feel at peace and I could feel our marriage and our love growing.

-date night at the Lobby, Shangri-La Mactan while Ykaie is at the playplace-

How important do you think “date night” is to maintaining a happy and healthy marriage?

After marriage couples find it difficult to spend quality time with each other specially when there are children, bills, and a household to take care of. It tends to get set aside later. A time which may never come at all because the bills and the chores never stop coming and the children doesn’t stop growing.

Date night is important to stay connected with one another. Remember that it doesn’t need to be costly. It doesn’t need to take your whole night. Most importantly, avoid discussing hot topics on date nights. Hot Topics are those issues you have in your marriage that can quickly ignite an argument{which I am guilty of, once upon a time}.

I used to bring out hot topics during date nights because I thought it’s one way of “cornering” him but I found out the hard way that it’s one way of turning a sweet evening into bitter one and we slept without talking. Lesson was learned, so I’m sharing it to you.

-delicious Mai Tai and Beer-

I’d like to think our nightly video calls are “date nights” but the truth is now, I only get to enjoy these date nights once a year when he comes home for his one month vacation.

I miss peanutbutter♥ terribly.